needy of a break.

Somehow I exhausted myself these days, by preparing for a shitty presentation about two GIGANTIC companies that I don't understand at all, by starting to mourn for what I've lost (yes, told you that i'm still in the transition phase and i'm always slow in reacting to traumas), and by other unclear distracting factors.

I just received the check of my scholarship today, with completely no excitement. I guess that's because I've been thinking about and coming up with numerous possible plans with the usage of this money, and finally realized that my desire is as a black hole and the money is just too little to fulfill it. I'm so sure that I won't be happy anyway, no matter how I spent it eventually.

Gosh, really hate this feeling that everything is falling apart. i need a break.