It's so not my day.

1. Walked a really long way trying to send a parcel to my friend in UK, failed.

2. Tried to call and inform her immediately...told that my cell phone plan didn't support direct IDD calls.

3. So Pissed that even had McDonald's breakfast, which i shouldn't!

4. Put myself into a blurred world as I left my apartment without glasses.

5. Had my quiz back in the evening class, which I got less-than-half grade.

6. Just found out that two of my favorite comedy, HIMYM & TBBT, stopped for this week, left Gossip Girl only. And I hated it.

Well, hope that's all.

Getting frustrated from time to time is just necessary to prevent me feeling too good about life, that's the only thing I can think of as kinda a comfort.

I just need a really good meal, a really good sleep, and a really good movie.

Please....please do some time management!!!

It's already the second time that my presentation is put off for another week, in one of my courses. I have to say I'm really mad about it, although I've no negative personal opnions towards that instructor. I just don't get it, how hard can a little bit of time management be??? Why can't the instructor force someone to stop when their group is consuming tooooooo much time of the whole class? and Why shouldn't him?

If no one is enforcing the rules, then no one is following it.







I feel so exhausted these days, both mentally and physically. But being able to be exhausted by things I actually like is a luck. I can't understand it more based on my past four years' experience. I love this program and I know I'm continuously being paid back for my effort:)

quote from gossip girl

"I'm never really going to understand this world i'm now part of, but that doesn't stop me from loving you, and never has. " said Rufus to Lily.

I really like you, no "BUT".

I just watched an episode of The Big Bang Theory after dinner.

Lenard's new girlfriend Stephanie just moved in together with him, while he wanted to slow down a bit for their relationship. But every time he tried to talk to her, he started with "Look, we need to talk" or "I really like you, but...", after which Stephanie would just begin crying directly, making it impossible to talk.

After watching it, I just started to wonder that, since when had these "We need to talk" or "I really like you, but..." thing become so overused and kind of scary signals in relationships? I mean, they originally are words with no bad meanings, but people just automatically assume something bad is following whenever they hear those words.

I'm not sure whether it's people's real life experiences or the overwhelming impact of mass media that embed these implications into our minds. But I do hope I can remind myself from time to time that, "I really like you" can just mean "I really like you". It's not necessary to be followed by a "but" every time.

Saturday is not supposed to be like this.

It's not supposed to be occupied by lectures of six hours!!!!...:(


I couldn't stay fully awake even after having two cups of grande latte. My nerve were automatically at rest when Saturday came. And I just can't help.


Being exhausted, I went to bed unbelievably early at 11p.m. when both of my roommates were still busying making phone calls and one of them even came to knock my door without any idea that I was already at sleep, given my usual earliest sleeping time is after 1 a.m..


"Oh my god you are sleeping! What's wrong dear?"
"Nothing, I'm just too tired."
"Well, I'm just gonna see what you are doing. Good night then." She closed my door with the same shocked look still.

A morning starting with a tragedy.....

Normally the only reason I will blog so early in the morning will be my staying up all night. But this time, hell no. I slept at 3a.m. and wake up at 8:30 in the morning. Right, I'm being so kind to tend to catch up the goddamn Saturday morning class, the "Business and Finance" on 9:30a.m., which by the way I've skipped it for the past 3 weeks.


When it hits 9a.m in my mind after a quick shower, when I became panic and just wanted to get out of the apartment with any clothes possible at hand, my cell phone alarm clock rang. "Jesus why is it ringing now? I set it to 8a.m. last night!", I picked it up and wondered why the hell it showed 8:00 a.m. Mentally disordered maybe, while I was just about to adjust the setting to the 9 o'clock in my mind, all of a sudden, smartness came back for me! It IS 8a.m.!


@#$%^&*%^&*(*&^%$#@@#$%^&*()(*&^%@#()(*&^%$#@#$%^&*(*&^%$#@#$@#$%^&*(*&^%$#@#$%^&*(*&^%$#@


(It represents my look right now!)






Well, that's simply why I'm typing at this weird time, with my stupidness and sleepiness.

What an intense day!

It started from an early breakfast at my neighborhood at 8a.m.


I rushed to school to meet with Judith as we've made an appointment talking about the group project. Four person in our group, two showed up, including me----poor show-up rate huh. But it didn't frustrate me at all, since in that case I had more chance to speak up, and I did!LOL. Thanks to the one-hour's talk, finally I got much more used to Judith's British accent! (I do like British accent but I just don't get them easily sometimes..)


I rushed back home without having lunch with my group mate when I found that my cell phone was not in my handbag. And I saw it the moment I opened the door of my apartment. My iPhone was just laying there peacefully and innocently, reminding me of one of my eternal disease--carelessness.




I rushed out again to meet with 2 of my classmates at the MTR exit of Tai Wai, as we were going to do some interviews together to get one of our midterm assignments done. The assignment is writing up a piece of news feature reporting the living situation of HK's working class and their views about the minimum wage policy, which is on its way. The interview went on better than I expected, for at least two waitresses didn't turn us down directly and were willing to talk to us. Actually I've already adjusted my mentality a lot after I encountered lots of rebuff last time in the Festival Walk. But still, it hurt a little when most of the waiters we approached just responded with a No. I guess that's just the situation that all journalists in the world must be prepared for.


"Reporting is the land of 'NO!', but 'NO' is only the beginning of the work you have to do." I remember the sentence from a journalism book I once read. And just till now I can fully understand how true it is. (forced smile.....@@)




Well, back to the rundown of today. I rushed to school again to join the rehearsal of Victor's band, in which I volunteered to be a back singer. But, surprise surprise! This night, I was appointed to be the leading singer of the song , "Take me home, country road", which I hardly knew how to sing at all!


Dramatically, this intense day is ending with me replaying "Take me home, country road" in my laptop, trying to learning the melody and lyrics.

I leave myself with open choices.

We met with one of our tutors today in a restaurant named "Little Italy" in Festival Walk. The tutor, Jeffery, is a well-experienced journalist who is now pursuing a PhD in Journalism in the Hong Kong University. Having worked for many well-known media agencies such as Dow Jones and Wall Street Journal, Jeffery is unexpectedly friendly and he is open to any discussions.

We started with introducing ourselves, including our background and career goals as requested by him. He was really interested in what we want to pursue in this industry, and tried to help us understand what's going on with it. It was really nice to have this kind of tutorial session.

Frankly, I don't have a clear goal about what I want to achieve in the journalism world. It's not that I have no ambition (though it's really limited), but that I don't really want to confine myself to only one direction and be blind about others. I have to say I'm not a person good at planning. I just believe that the beauty of life lies in those unknow possibilities.

Incomplete collection of my favorite quotes.

All from Milan Kundera:




1.
"Happiness is the longing for repetition."


2.
"She had an overwhelming desire to tell him, like the most banal of women. Don't let me go, hold me tight, make me your plaything, your slave, be strong! But they were words she could not say.

The only thing she said when he released her from his embrace was, "You don't know how happy I am to be with you." That was the most her reserved nature allowed her to express."




3.
"We all need someone to look at us. we can be divided into four categories according to the kind of look we wish to live under. the first category longs for the look of an infinite number of anonymous eyes, in other words, for the look of the public. the second category is made up of people who have a vital need to be looked at by many known eyes. they are the tireless hosts of cocktail parties and dinners. they are happier than the people in the first category, who, when they lose their public, have the feeling that the lights have gone out in the room of their lives. this happens to nearly all of them sooner or later. people in the second category, on the other hand, can always come up with the eyes they need. then there is the third category, the category of people who need to be constantly before the eyes of the person they love. their situation is as dangerous as the situation of people in the first category. one day the eyes of their beloved will close, and the room will go dark. and finally there is the fourth category, the rarest, the category of people who live in the imaginary eyes of those who are not present. they are the dreamers."




4.
"When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object."




5.
"Two people in love, alone, isolated from the world, that's beautiful."


6.
"Making love with a woman and sleeping with a woman are two separate passions, not merely different but opposite. Love does not make itself felt in the desire for copulation (a desire that extends to an infinite number of women) but in the desire for shared sleep (a desire limited to one woman)."




7.
"There is a certain part of all of us that lives outside of time. Perhaps we become aware of our age only at exceptional moments and most of the time we are ageless."


8.
"But when the strong were too weak to hurt the weak, the weak had to be strong enough to leave."


9.
"The goals we pursue are always veiled. A girl who longs for marriage longs for something she knows nothing about. The boy who hankers after fame has no idea what fame is. The thing that gives our every move its meaning is always totally unknown to us."




10.
"Kitsch is the inability to admit that shit exists"


11.
"Love is a continual interrogation. I don’t know of a better definition of love."




12.
"A person who longs to leave the place where he lives is an unhappy person."


13.
"And what can life be worth if the first rehearsal for life is life itself?"





_______________________________________________




One of the many reasons that I admire Milan Kundera is that, he always tells the truth about life, the truth that most people on earth live in but dare not to admit.

Mentality of a Call Girl

The best thing about crime-related programs is that you can pick up any episode randomly and fully understand what's going on even if you're not following. That's why I didn't hesitate at all when my friend Lynn urged me to watch one specific episode of Criminal Minds, which she found it extremely impressive.


It's about a high-class call girl, who at the same time is also a serial killer.


"A prostitute is not as the feminists claim, the victim of men, but their conqueror." As usual, the first line in this episode is thought-provoking.


The girl is killing not for what those men did to her on bed, but their behavior outside the bed. All men being killed share one common character, that they abandon their families after cheating. And most importantly, no matter how rich they are, they are unbelievably stingy to their ex-wives and children, in an exact way as the call girl's father did to her. Eventually, the call girl killed herself before being caught by the FBI, and instead of giving it to her father, she turned her client list, the most important evidence to reveal what those rich but hideous men did, to the police.


Criminal Minds always ends sadly, but I feel particularly sad after this one.






This is the link of it:


Without subtitle:
http://vids.tv/Criminal-Minds/tv/season-4/episode-16-pleasure-is-my-business




With subtitle:
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XNzYzMzkxMzI=.html


I watched the subtitle-free version first and then watched it second time with subtitles to make sure I understood some details correctly....LOL


I wanted to find a version with only English subtitle but I couldn't...:(

Holiday mood is fading.

Preventing myself from realizing tomorrow will be school day again, I do enjoy my 5-day holiday.


I spent the first day(Sept 30th) mostly on bed in HK, due to the period and the pain bundled with it. Luckily I managed to be back to my home in Shenzhen in the evening though became just exhausted the moment I got home. Mom cooked for me, how nice.


I spent the second day(Oct 1st) watching the parade on TV for the whole morning. I finished 2 assignments in the afternoon, and had dinner with all the relatives at night. My aunt cooked for us, how nice.




I spent the rest three days(Oct 2nd - 4th) by travelling with my parents to a vacation resort of a small town which I don't even know its name. All I know is it's in the Guangdong Province and it's weirdly peaceful while there're numerous people everywhere out there in the National Day's holiday. The three exclusive things I did there were eating, sleeping, and bathing hot spring with the full moon shining up there, how nice.




And now I'm back to my apartment in HK and waiting for tomorrow, another long tough school day:(

Being a Chinese is not my choice, but my responsibility.

I've read an article in New York Times saying that China has already lost its ideology as the economic reform succeeds. I guess it's simply a fact to accept that the foreign media always have plenty of things to judge about China, even on its National Day.

Here comes the link: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/01/world/asia/01china.html?_r=1

To summarize, this article is sending out a clear message arguing that nowadays in China, "What inspires loyalty today is not ideology, but the government's competence at raising China from poverty".

I respect New York Times, it's actually the only online news website that I will have a glimpse everyday. The message in this article is also worth thinking. However, making every effort to be objective and unbiased, as a Chinese, I just can't say I'm comfortable with the obvious judgmental attitude the author is showing in it.

From my perspective, first of all, the ideology of such a big country as China is impossible to be simplex, which means it's ridiculous to just go out and ask a Chinese citizen on street to name the ideology of the country and call it "a student called on in class to report on the book he forgot to read" when he could not. Furthermore, I'm curious that how many countries on the world are really 100% sure about their ideology, and how many people nowadays are completely conscious of who they are. To put it in another way, it's a universal fact that people lack ideology. Quoting from what Lily said in the latest episode of Gossip Girl when Serena was entangled with the whole finding-myself thing, " Do you think anyone really knows who they are? We don't. We just live."

As for China, the long winding history left us with not only tremendous cultural assets, but also plenty of problems. The transformation takes time. And before our new ideology is formed, we strengthen our economy first. As a generation benefits from it most, I believe this is a right step.

I can't say I've really been touched by the parade or huge-scale performance. After all, for a Chinese, that kind of scene is not supposed to be completely fresh. But it's the sharing of excitement among all Chinese that is way more important than the parade itself. And that's also why I'm happy to spend several hours on a big sunny morning sitting in the sofa with my parents, watching the TV channel broadcasting everything as it's planned to be.


That's a process we have to go through.
That's just the way it is.

testing:)

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